Tees With Attitude
Tumblers for Tactical Hydration
Carnivore Cutting Boards
Welcome Home, Big Guy.
We make funny, premium gear for dads, husbands, grillmasters, meat enthusiasts, and anyone who knows life is better with good food, good friends, bad jokes, and a dad bod.
Bodrick the gnome approves.
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Stay Back, Ladies
This Dad Bod is taken.
Tuesday afternoon. Arms loaded with groceries, a 12-pack balanced on one hip, no second trip on the table — and somebody in the checkout line is smiling his way. Flattered? Sure. Available? Not a chance. Bodrick's got the shades on, a cold one in hand, and two fairies who clearly missed the memo. Find out how this checkout-line legend handles his fan club.
Attention, Scroller
Before you scroll on: if you are even vaguely interested in the official My Dad Bod Anthem, you must read this announcement.
Dad Bod Brotocol
Observance required
The PULL FOR ANTHEM station is not an emergency alarm.
It's something far more serious.
Once pulled, the official My Dad Bod Anthem will play, and all persons within hearing distance are expected to observe proper Dad Bod brotocol.
Stand tall. Chin up. Shoulders back.
Let that magnificent belly take its rightful place in the world.
Once the anthem begins, it must be played all the way through. No skipping. No lowering the volume. No wandering off because somebody rang the doorbell or yelled “Stop playing that in the office!”
So, stand with purpose and give the moment the respect it deserves.
Chin high. Belly out.
The Revolution Has Begun
Anthem composed by Luis Humanoide, originally titled “Superhero Theme,” now AKA the My Dad Bod Anthem. [Thanks, Luis!]
A long time ago, in a backyard far, far away…
The Dad Bod Bill of Rights
(unmute for the anthem)
We the Dads… In order to form a more comfortable union, to establish backyard dominance, and to secure the sacred blessings of a mid-afternoon couch nap, do hereby decree the following rights non-negotiable:
Article I — Sovereign Castle Domain
Dad is king of his castle and everything in it; his quiet and questionable reign shall not be questioned.
Article II — Thermostat Supremacy
68°F is the law. Anyone complaining of being cold must put on a hat and scarf.
Article III — Couch Sovereignty
The indented corner cushion belongs exclusively to the architect who molded it.
Article IV — The Clicker Monopoly
The TV remote stays with Dad. Channel surfing is not a committee decision.
Article V — Direct-from-Carton Sustenance
The right to drink or eat straight from jug, tub, bag, and bowl to save dishes.
Article VI — Leftover Immunity
Any food in the fridge is fair game, regardless of whose name is on the box.
Article VII — The Grilling Monopoly
Sole ownership over the grill, tongs, and the mandatory tong double-click test.
Article VIII — The Mid-Day Eye Rest
The right to nap during live sports and insist that you were only resting your eyes.
Article IX — The Elevated Porcelain Charter
The right to leave the toilet seat up. Gravity works both ways, and lowering it is a simple joint venture.
Article X — The Untucked Mandate
The freedom to wear a button-down untucked at fancy events so breathing remains effortless.
Article XI — The One-Trip Grocery Clause
Carrying every single bag in one shot until the fingers turn red, because two trips is defeat.
Article XII — Acoustic Plausible Deniability
The strict house rule to ignore any obvious flatulence disguised by an aggressively loud and poorly timed fake cough.
Article XIII — The Brotherhood of the Bod
An unwritten pact to always lend a tool, diagnose a weird engine noise on sight, and show up to help move heavy furniture for pizza and beer.
We Hold These Truths to Be Self-Evident
All men are not created equal, the lucky ones have a dad bod.
My Dad Bod
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Dad Gear.
The Revolution Has Begun
