Stiff in All the Wrong Places – Engraved Maple Cutting Board

STIFF IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES...

Ah, adulthood.

The back is stiff. The knees are stiff. The neck has been questionable since Tuesday.

Everything else? Mind your business.

The Stiff in All the Wrong Places Cutting Board is for the dad who has reached that magical stage of life where sleeping wrong can qualify as an injury and getting off the couch occasionally requires a three-point plan.

Fortunately, there's nothing wrong with his ability to handle a steak.

Made from beautiful maple and permanently laser engraved with “Stiff in All the Wrong Places...” and our My Dad Bod signature, it's a genuinely useful cutting board wrapped in exactly the kind of humor Dad Bod was created for.

Choose your size:

22" × 13" × 1.5" – The Big Boy
A substantial maple board with plenty of room for brisket, ribs, steaks, roasts and serious meal prep. At 1.5" thick, this thing has some heft.

Unlike its owner, it's supposed to be stiff.

16" Long – The Everyday
A more compact option for everyday prep, steaks, burgers, chicken and smaller jobs. Easier to move around the kitchen and considerably easier to pick up than Dad after he's been sitting for two hours.

Because each board is made from natural wood, grain, coloration and pattern will vary, giving every board its own character.

Perfect for Father's Day, birthdays, husbands, grandpas, middle-aged men, BBQ enthusiasts, retirement gifts, milestone birthdays or any guy who wakes up sore despite doing absolutely nothing the day before.

My Dad Bod — aging gracefully was never really the plan.

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